epiphany at Chevron

Last night I was filling up my gas tank, sitting in my car, and watching a homeless man standing by the convience store entrance. This particular homeless fellow looks really homeless. He is super tan, has a matted beard, really ill-fitting (probably because he is so skinny) and soiled clothes. His face looks like he is 100 years old when he might only be 50. I never question his status as a desperate and downtrodden man like I do some of the clean-cut, overweight beggars.

This particular man has asked me for change on several occasions. I have never obliged. Not once. I don't necessarily believe in supplying folks with a couple of dollars to get them through today. I believe in giving people the tools to dig themselves out of even the deepest holes, which, I can't do as I race past him downtown.

I watched this man reach into the trash can and pull out a Wendy's bag. He went through the bag, carefully unfolding the wadded up burger packaging and found nothing. I watched him squeeze the remnants of ketchup from two spent ketchup packages into his mouth. He scraped those packages with his teeth like he was eating an artichoke with lemon and butter.

As a lady approached the convience store entrance he looked ashamed and quickly tried to hide his found treasure in the trashcan, never taking his hands off it. When she was out of sight, he brought it out again and continued digging.

About this time, a car rolls up and is either broken down or out of gas. The homeless man looks up and sees this car about to roll backwards into a post. He waves his hands, drops his Wendy's bag and runs over to this car. He helps the driver of the car (who was wearing an Ed Hardy shirt) push the car out of harms way and into a parking space.

Now, I immeditely assumed that he would ask for money for his deed. He did not. He just smiled the most beautiful, sincere smile and walked away.

I watched LIFE on Discovery on Sunday. This was the episode with the chimpanzees. In a particulary moving scene, one chimpanzee lends his tool for craking nuts to a fellow chimp who doesn't have one. Chimpanzees not only comprehend sharing, they can be kind. I thought this was so sweet and so wonderful and blah blah. But, sitting my car last night I was not as kind as a chimpanzee.

This homeless man can not help himself but he can help others. He may be eating leftover kethcup under the ugly flourescent lights of a Chevron but he was proud to help someone. There are few moments that make you think of the universe differently and, for me, this was one of them.

I will try to be as kind as that chimpanzee. I will try and be as kind as that man who has nothing but kindness to give.