In 3rd grade I spent every recess digging a hole under an awning on the side of the school building. I dug that hole so deep that I could see under the foundation of the school, better yet, my little digging spot was secluded from everyone else. I wouldn't get picked last to play soccer, I wouldn't have my friends push me into boys, and no one would tease me about my clothes. I really liked my spot under that awning.
In May of 2008 I went back to that school and took a picture of my digging spot. It looks pretty much the same minus the huge hole. I feel pretty much the same as I did when I was in 3rd grade. I still think my clothes are awkward and I still sweat everytime I think I might get picked last. Although, the boy issue seems to have been resolved. Not having a mandated recess time eliminated that fear.
I thought, I guess, that when you grew up you knew how to do stuff and were automatically cool. I thought when I was an adult life would be easier--I wouldn't have to hide under an awning anymore. The surprise is really that I'm the same as I was when I was 7 only with responsibilites. The surprise was that at age 24, making a presentation to 200 lawyers, feeling sweaty and awkward, I would think about my digging spot and want it back.
Great post!
ReplyDeleteYou can dig your way out of anything, literally and figureatively.
You will still feel the same at 80 as you did at 7, just with difference experiences to enrich your perspective. You can always be 7 in your head because you still are. Only with better clothes.